What I Need to Learn

I think one of the most important lessons I am learning right now is dependance on the Lord. Apparently it's also one of the most challenging, because, darnit, I just keep trying to do things on my own strength...
I know that self-reliance is really valued in our culture, but I'm not so sure it should be. You know how the Bible tells us not to lean on our own understanding? Well, I can't quite seem to get that concept down. I mean, for a bit I do, but then, there I am again, back to trying to do it on my own.
Even in day-to-day life, I have a hard time asking for help. (I think my husband would tell you differently, but I'm not counting him in this)...
And so occasionally it hits me that I'm floundering, fighting, struggling to figure something out or fix something, and I have forgotten to turn to the Lord. It's ludicrous, really. Thinking that I can do it all, succeed without HIM. Of course, it's not that I haven't prayed, but many times I've worried my prayers instead of going to Him with confidence that He hears me and will act on my behalf.
Prayer is a beautiful thing... magical, really. And yet, I rarely utilize this gift. I tuck it away, pull it out when I'm desperate or need something, and away it goes again, forgotten instantly...
Prayer should be my first response, not my last resort.