Enter attractive young(-ish) female, into her living room. She was just dropped off by her mother and sister, after a fun girl's night movie. She is happy and feeling good. As she greets her loving husband and recounts the movie, she decides to slip into something more comfortable (not like that; I mean something literally more comfortable) and so goes to retrieve her phone from her purse and put it away. This is when she discovers her phone is not in her purse. It is not in her pockets either. Panic strikes. Unease sets in. A feeling of vulnerability cloaks her.
I'll drop the dramatic tone and continue, as I'm sure it could get old. Once I realized I could not find it, I used Ben's phone to call it, only to remember mid-call that I had silenced it for the movie and had not turned it back up. I tried to call my mom and sister's phones to ask them to look for it in the car, as I remembered using it in the car. I mean how far could it have gone? The answer, later.
I called my mother's house when she got home and asked her to search the car. She came up empty-handed, after what, I was ensured, was a very thorough inspection. I had gotten out of the car, in a neighborhood, to switch places with my sister and let her drive. Immediately I imagined my phone lying on the road, alone and scared. (Okay, I may not have dropped the dramatic tone. But I did drop the bold font!) I told my husband, "I'm going after it."
I hopped in my car, and drove to the place I had gotten out of the car. I drove, like a crazy person, back and forth on a dark neighborhood street, scanning the ground, over and over. I'm fairly certain the lady walking her dog went in to call the cops, so after a few minutes of searching I decided to drive over to my mother's house, to re-search the car. It was not as though I did not trust the searchers, but... one can never be certain until one sees with one's own eyes. I'll stop using "one" now.
As I was driving, I was thinking/praying. I don't like to over-spiritualize things but I do believe the Lord uses everyday "crap" to teach. However, at this moment I wasn't feeling very teachable. I was, in fact, wondering if everything really does happen for a reason, or if sometimes our carelessness or stupidity is just that? I was not really too worried, or stressed. I just didn't want my phone to get smashed into smithereens or to be without one. And, again, I had just had it in the car; how far could it have gone? This was what annoyed me most.
Once I arrived, I searched every inch of the car, to no avail. I even searched my mom's purse, in case I had accidentally put it in there. No. such. luck. A bit crestfallen, I hopped back in my car and headed home. Not without driving by "the spot" once again, this time having to maneuver around all the police cars (I kid).
When I got home, I looked in my purse for the twentieth time, and checked the driveway where I exited the car, and all my pockets. And this time! Nothing. You thought I found it, didn't you? I had spent an hour looking for this cursed phone and came up empty.
Confused, I expressed my annoyance to Ben, who by the way, I do believe quite enjoyed me losing something this time, as this usually happens to him. I digress.
Dejectedly, I started heading back to the bedroom for the night when something caught my eye on the kitchen counter. A little black shape... was it?... could it be?... YES, IT WAS MY PHONE!
I was... dumbfounded. Flabbergasted. Confounded. Bewildered. Why the heck did I not notice it before? This was after all, THE SPOT I ALWAYS PUT IT IN.
After the shock of my stupidity wore off, I began to see the analogy. Remember my earlier existential questioning during my drive? I'm still not sure of the answer, whether everything does happen for a reason, but I do believe that God turns things GOOD, for those of us who love Him.
You see, there are some major changes occurring in my life right now, and much uncertainty coming right alongside, but we are trusting in the midst of the ambiguity. And I'm learning that we can search, and do everything we think we should, and knock ourselves out, but that doesn't mean that what we're looking for isn't already... found. Maybe, just maybe, if I had asked for help, He would have just directed me to the phone, and I wouldn't have driven all over town looking. Trying to rely on myself (a theme of my life, perhaps?) does not equal success. HE KNOWS.
And so, through my own scatterbrained experience, I learned a little something, and I'm happy for that.
No comments:
Post a Comment