Sunday, September 12, 2010

Streaking

Being without my children makes me feel naked. While it's a liberating feeling, freeing, something doesn't feel quite right. I have this sense that I need to return home, that I shouldn't go too far.

Is that weird? Because I know that I need some freedom, some "me time," and space, but there's a threshold I hit when I start to feel like I've been away too long, and I begin to feel uncomfortable...

Is this something that I need to get over, or should I listen to this feeling and go with it? It certainly seems easier for everyone if I go with it, but I realize that I need to spread my wings a bit. I'm starting to feel like an individual, apart from whatever child that may be attached to my hip, and this is a good feeling. I'm developing interests and passions just for me, and it makes me feel alive. Being a stay-at-home mom is time-consuming, time-evaporating, and I'm trying to figure out when in the day I can work toward my goals and focus on me-stuff. This is a challenge.

I'm happy to have partner that encourages my freedom and expression and passions. The biggest obstacle is stepping out of my own comfort zone, buck naked.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Well put, Jessica.

Unknown said...

I grow more in love with you with each passing moment.

Megan O. said...

If you figure this out, would you please tell me? Because I have the same feelings. And honestly, I don't even know what to be pursuing during "me time" anyway, which is just pathetic. I'd love to know what you're working on!